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Home / Cafe Culture / Caffeinated Ponderingsby Shana Moore Why IS it that…Coffee is legal? (But I’m sure glad it is!) Whenever I reach a state of caffeinated nirvana, I stop to ponder how something that makes me instantly soothed and perky can possibly be legal. The mere idea that the Surgeon General could order those magical beans off the shelves and out of my life has me scheming towards the type of stock up that even Costco couldn't supply. My fear is that these thoughts alone make me something of a textbook junkie. This is particularly clear when I confess to fantasizing about my next fix before the one I'm savoring has neither been finished nor gone cold. But before you go coordinating an intervention, please concede that there are benefits to spending time with a grown woman who indulges in such a deliciously harmless vice. My husband sees the advantages so clearly that I'm afraid I might soon awaken with the tubes of a House Blend IV lodged in my arm as he tries to speed up my morning metamorphosis. For now, without the benefit of a slow drip of drip to jumpstart my day, he's stuck with a grumbling and disheveled woman who stumbles out of bed at the insistence of two annoyingly playful cubs. Before my eyes can even focus, our girls are ready to don their jazz pants and dance to the Pure Disco CD. At this hour, the music of my youth sounds much more like Pure Hell.
The actress in me does her very best to be impressed by their lead-footed jetés as I gulp down that first cup of the day. Within minutes…Yeah! Mom here is back in action. I'm ready to fix breakfast, pack lunches and, after a rare good night's sleep and an especially dark brew, even bust a few dance moves with the girls. I refer to the euphoric time period after my first cup as B.C. (Blissfully Caffeinated). It is when the cobwebs clear and the feeling of hope returns to my normally happy and optimistic persona. This, my friends, is the most enjoyable yet dangerous time of day. You see, the day is new and the caffeine is pumping through and putting the spice back in this Spice Girl. Oh, the things that I am going to accomplish today! Sure the house is a mess, I have paper work to do and the refrigerator is empty. But why not invite some friends over for dinner? It's only 8:00AM and dinner is some ten hours away. No problem! An hour later, I make the call and commit to the plan, only all of a sudden it doesn't seem so fun. The buzz is gone and has taken with it my delusions of grandeur. Why couldn't it have taken the chores instead? What have I done? I should know better than to make decisions while under the influence. Can I back out and claim temporary, java-induced insanity? I know my addiction is worsening since the same high I used to get from one cup is now coming from two. Between you and me, when I'm in a real pinch of afternoon lethargy, I sometimes even push the envelope with a third cup. I do this well aware of the risk I run of sending myself into a Tasmanian Devil-like frenzy that will leave anyone within a three-house radius wishing they had a basement to shield them from the fallout. I'm smart enough to realize that the physical rush that coffee brings me is too good to be healthy, but I'm hooked enough to do nothing about it. I'm comforted and validated by the solidarity I share with the nine or more similarly addicted individuals who wait in line like me for their sixteen ounces of wake-up. My only fear, as I tap my foot impatiently while awaiting my turn, is that one of the employees will single me out by calling me "Norm" and slide my usual order to the end of the bar. Only then will I concede that I've gone too far, and will sadly slink to step two in the recovery process. But until I find myself with a reserved seat next to an all-knowing mail carrier at the coffee bar, or that dastardly Surgeon General deems my consumption illegal, I will continue to caffeinate. My reasoning is part selfish pleasure and part public service. Because the way I see it, at least eighty-four people, including my family, friends and the unsuspecting strangers whom I wave to with all five fingers as I let them merge onto the freeway, are counting on me to be full of life and energy. I assure you, dear reader, that a big 'ole cup-a-joe keeps me from letting them down and is, without question, the inspiration and creative force behind this book. I beg you to pour yourself a big one so that you may enjoy these pages in the spirit in which they were written. About the BookWhether you have a slight addiction to caffeine, an irrational hatred of supermodels, or enough training in domestic peacekeeping to secure federal employment, Shana McLean Moore has the antidote to your pain. She knows you'll find it at the bottom of a hot cup of coffee, savored while taking a few minutes out of your selfless day to indulge in some of her Caffeinated Ponderings. Shana's look at life, laughter & lattes is sure to leave you feeling tickled, validated and ready for a second cup...especially since the first one might just have escaped through your nose! Find out how you and your friends can take a coffee break with Shana Moore at your favorite bookstore or coffee shop by visiting her Web site: www.caffeinatedponderings.com. Once you're at the site, be sure to sign up for her Fresh Brew by becoming a subscriber to her popular online newsletter. Caffeinated Ponderings on Life, Laughter & Lattes By Shana McLean Moore |
